would it matter at all

*vent warning*

I can really, really relate to the lyrics of this song-and of late Ive felt really. down like everything im doing has no purpose and why , why dosent anything in real life living and working make me happy- every angle of a normal life getting up everyday working earning , its too mundayne and empty unfulfilling , and I just feel I have no real purpose to be living for =/
and I still cry over things that happened forever ago and I dont know why??!! why cant I just carry on 6 years gone by and I still cry every other night , its stupid really.
plus I dont think anyone would remember me for long if I did just doe one day I think everyone would move on easy family mourne but they get over it after while and just move on, everything would continue wether I was here or not =/
so futile..

I mean Ive been like this fior a while but everything that kept me happy like art is even feeling futile now and nothing really cheers me up-least not fully or for long- I want it all to stop and go back to when I didnt feel so vacant, numb, empty whatever you call it =/

alot of people here you sayb you would care but, I feel if you knew my as a person and not for my art, you'd think differently , I dont think anyone here could actually like me without my art-and the sad fact is Im not even that good an artist, Im not even an artist what i draw isnt art... so without that part theres just me ,



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if I wasnt here tomorrow would anybody care
if my time was up Id wanna know
You were happy I was there

if I wasnt here tomorrow would anyone lose sleep
if I wasnt hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me

I know Im a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that Id like better
I can never forget, so dont remind me of it forever

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all
What if I just tried not to remember
Would it matter at all
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try
Would it matter at all

if I wasnt here tomorrow would anybody care
Still stuck inside this sorrow
I got nothin and going nowhere

I know Im a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that Id like better
Can you help me forget, dont wanna feel like this forever

If I left tomorrow would anybody care
Stuck in this sorrow
Going nowhere